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The Light Bulb that Everyone Saw Before You

I shared something that I thought was marvelous with a friend this week.  It was a concept I saw clearly for the first time but only after intense and prolonged introspection and careful study.  Guess what?  They already knew it.

I wrestle with thoughts fiercely.  Even the most simple understandings I flip over and over in my head, examine, question and verify.  Often this takes much time, extensive reading and deep thought. I am the quintessential theologian, I ask why and how about everything and I tend to keep asking those things long after others are satisfied.

This is why it can be maddening to me to share an insight I’ve had.   After passionately explaining what I see and how I came to that conclusion, I look into the eyes of my hearer and realize that they already knew what to me, is brand new.  I get an enthusiastic nod, and hear, “yes, I totally agree” and then no more comment. If I wait long enough, they will yawn.  And I am left speechless.

Am I a dolt?  Am I just that much slower than the rest in dissecting and analyzing my beliefs?  It has happened enough that I expect this to be a possible response when I share anything with another.

So, of course I had to think about this.  How can others already understand so quickly what I have to spend years studying, though they are not given to that type of study?  After dismissing the idea that they are faking understanding (these are godly, honest people I trust) I’m left with the reality that they probably DO understand what has taken me months and months to come by.

How can that be?  Of course, they may have wrestled with the thoughts before me, but I don’t think that is the case in many of these situations.  So what’s up?

It's a sphere!

It’s a sphere!

Do you believe the world in round?  So do I and I’ve probably spent as much time thinking about it as you, which is pretty close to not at all.  Despite not thinking about it, I get it, we’re not living on a pancake but a hacky sack.  Yet there are those who have spent close to a whole career studying the round nature of the earth and how that relates to everything else in our solar system.  They get it, but on a much deeper level, not in a superior sense, we both get the world is round, but their understanding is richer.

One can know a thing on many levels- the deepness isn’t the essential part, knowing is.

Understanding “God is love” is a wonderful insight.  You may come to that idea easily where another must first deal with the problem of evil, difficult passages, previous paradigms, the concept of feelings and what it means to exist.  If you are as messed up as me you will probably first have to analyze what love is first before you can even begin to entertain the idea of God being loving.  Then you have to separate loving acts from the embodiment of love and on and on it goes.  After years of deliberation, the deep mind comes to the same conclusion as the one steadied on simple faith: “God is love”.  Though the thinker probably had already accepted that in faith, they have examined it so minutely that when they come to the conclusion it seems to be a brand new understanding.

So is thinking deeply a waste of time or worse, some form of vanity?

While it certainly can be a type of vanity and lead to fat-headed pride, the humble heart is simply intrigued and wants to understand because they are insatiably curious.  They have a drive to comprehend.  It is the artist in them.  Going deeper into a simple idea often reveals connections, patterns, textures and richness to the ideal that is difficult to express unless one has meditated upon it.   It reveals the story behind the title.  It is not a waste of time.  It is a blessing.

And so, if you are bent like me, I encourage you, thinking deeply can be a blessing, even if most everyone else thinks you’re a bit daft for marveling at the qualities of a sphere.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on April 5, 2013 in Spiritual Gifts

 

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Silent Tongue

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Dare I speak on such a day?  I cannot.

(Oh foolish tongue!  What can you muster in light of this?!)

“Thank you Jesus.”  ……Pathetic.

(Silence.)

 
4 Comments

Posted by on March 29, 2013 in Quips from the Short Sage

 

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Lonely Soul: A really bad poem (you should read)

Lonely

So a phrase came into my head and I started writing.  After about ten minutes I became annoyed that all of my sentences had a cadence and ended in rhyme but I couldn’t seem to help myself.  Weird.   Anyways, I kept trying to rework it in my normal style and found myself reverting back to cadence each time.  I am no poet, heavens no, but I have given up on trying to express this thought in other ways.

Here’s my really bad free verse (?) -seriously- this is embarrassing, but if you read it out loud and pretend you are at a beat club, maybe, hopefully, it will speak to you.

It is an odd and sorrowful truth, that the more one is pulled in, and the firmer the grasp and will become, the lonelier the soul becomes.

For a season is entered where the pleasures and vices are habitually shunned and your comrades are found to be few, perhaps there is none.  You expose the wonders your eyes have seen and wait for the tug, the grasp of your hand, but the stare is blank.  The nod is there, but a suspicion persists that you did not get it, though you gave thanks.   How in the church, amidst like-minded souls, do I feel bereft and so out in the cold?

Then a Jonathon comes along… not many, it seems two, more likely one, but there he is!  And your heart soars for his soul, his presence, his tongue.  A kindred fire is a soothing balm, for the company of a crowd is replaced by one.

A lonely road, it is taken by few.  But praises!  Trapped in heaven’s solitude, I am not so lonely, I am filled, and I have you.  Time goes by, and deeper I go.  Peace.   I look and startle how one Jonathan has increased.

……Now you are hearing lots of snapping by really polite people….. In all honestly, I am coming to see the blogging community this way.  Blessings to all of you.

 
11 Comments

Posted by on March 25, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Nasty Life Laundry

My sister was arrested this week for two felonies.  All week I have grappled with how I am going to approach the very difficult phone call I need to make to her.

I thought quite a bit about the stupidity of her actions and the evil behind them.  Of course, you know where that led my Christian heart, right back to my own.  I can’t cast a stone, in the past I’ve done similar things and was lucky enough not to have been caught.   Which made me start wondering if I really got away with it Of course God knows my sin, I didn’t get away with it in that sense.  I have confessed the old and try to keep a short account of the new, repented of the whole lot, and I am fully convinced I am forgiven. Condemnation for it is removed from me because of the sacrifice of Christ and my sin is removed from me as far as the East is from the West.  Because of my repentant faith in Him, I am unquestionably forgiven.

My sister’s arrest was in the news.  Her alleged wrong doing is common knowledge if you happen to live where she does.  My dirty laundry never made it to the papers or the local TV news. So in that sense, did I get away with it?  Will it never be brought up again?  Will I get through eternity without anyone but God and I seeing the real me?  Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on March 20, 2013 in Never Saw That Before, Sin

 

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The Default Christian Woman

I was wondering what you might think of these two pictures.

When you think of what a good wife is, does your mind conjure up an image similar to this?

DSC_0084

Or this?

DSC_0068

Which one depicts a suitable helper best? Read the rest of this entry »

 

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Kill God

“If You Meet (god) Buddha On The Road, Kill Him.”
– a frequently used paraphrase of a Buddhist koan (a poem used to provoke thought)

 attributed to Zen Master Linji.

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It’s not from the Bible but it has some teeth.

St. Augustine said, “If you comprehend it, it is not God.”

Thomas Aquinas said, “The highest human knowledge of God is to know that one doesn’t know God.”

Something I keep relearning is that although I look intently and seem to understand more with each passing prayer, reading and struggle, in the end I don’t really know anything much about this God whom I serve.  As years pass I find errors or incomplete pictures in things I embraced, which shows how frighteningly shallow my knowledge of the divine is. I know His attributes.  I know His work.  I know the story.  I understand the church culture.  I understand the current thought.  I understand what I believe.  But I do not understand God.  I do not understand His ways.

I need to keep killing the god I create.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on March 6, 2013 in Quips from the Short Sage

 

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